A Christ-Centered Courtship

I was at a point in my life where my main focus was truly Jesus and my secondary focus was completing graduate school. I can honestly say that in 2012, I had tunnel vision when it came to guys. My eyes were so focused on Christ that I did not care whether a guy wanted to approach me or not and the funny thing is, they didn’t. It was like I had some kind of male repellant on or around me. When asked by my friends if I was dating anyone or looking, I would usually say, “Just Jesus. I am waiting on Him to bring the person He has for me into the picture.” Greg and I were in the same college bible study and we went to the same church in Tallahassee, FL. The guys and girls from the college bible study would hang out from time to time, but Greg was not someone I hung around when we all got together. We were cordial with each other in bible study, at church and when we hung out. Greg is very handsome and has always been handsome, but before we began our courtship, I wa...

How I Became the Luckiest Man on Earth It was a cold winter night…Nah it wasn’t. It was actually a rather hot afternoon on July 5, 2012 when I asked Asia if we could begin pursuing a courtship relationship. How’d it happen? God humbled my heart and challenged my obedience. Pre-July 2012, Asia and I were not necessarily on the best of terms as far as friendship goes. Since I’ve known her, I’ve always had respect for her as a woman of God. I thought “Whoever pursues her is gonna have a real champ. He has to be the real deal because homegirl ain’t playin any games in this Christian walk.” However, she and I didn’t get along very well. I was a jerk, to put it mildly and plainly, and she obviously didn’t like that. Somehow, around April 2012, I heard from a friend that she thought I would be her husband in the future. I don’t know if I’ve ever been more opposed to anything in my life. I said “No. Heck no.” We just didn’t get along. I knew she was a woman of God and (spi...

When I refer to doing bible studies together, I don’t strictly refer to guy and girl coming together to discuss exegetical matters (things like Greek/Hebrew language, syntax, and other, headier issues) and things like that. I simply mean coming together for the purpose of discussing the truth of God’s Word and how that truth applies to your lives. Studying and discussing the Bible together as a couple is a vital part of a strong, Christ-centered relationship. The presence or absence of such discussion and study is (in my opinion) a clear indicator of how serious a guy and girl are about growing in the knowledge of God together. In my experience, the lack of intentional, focused Bible study has made it easier for me to lose perspective on what really matters. It can lead to the two being focused on simply pleasing and serving each other as the primary goal, and not doing those things to glorify God. That’s what happened to me. Being a busy guy in a long distance relatio...

Spending time with God is the single best investment we can make in our lives. As we grow to know God, we are able to grow to know ourselves; the person whom He has created us to become. Reading the Bible is how we get to know who God is. His character, how He views us, His Son Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit, and how God uses the most unsuspected men and women to do great things in His name. Reading, studying, and meditating on God’s Word on a consistent basis allows us to know Him intimately and not just on a superficial level. In your courtship, it is most important that Christ is in the CENTER of it ALL. All of your plans should be made with Christ in mind and through prayer to obtain the direction you will need from God. Remember that courtship is designed to lead to MARRIAGE, so use your courtship wisely and as preparation for your lifetime commitment to your fiance or preance (rhymes with fiance- because you both are pre-engagement :-). In my relationship with ...

The area of boundaries is probably one of the most important topics a couple will face on their way to marriage. The way boundaries are approached, set, and handled is one of the primary factors in how successful the relationship will be in areas of purity (whether that be spiritual, emotional, or physical purity). If that be the case, how are we to think about boundaries and use them in a God-glorifying way? There are a few passages that have helped me think through this topic. First, let’s consider Ephesians 5:25-27. It says “ 25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. (ESV)” Here, there is a command, an example, and purpose, and an ultimate goal. The command is for husbands to love their...

 In regards to a biblical courtship, this topic has to be one of my favorites. A courtship that is without boundaries is bound to lead to trouble in purity (hahaha… nice play on words right?… not trouble in paradise, but…Yea…okay). It is very important for both the man and the woman to discuss, agree, and intentionally implement boundaries to make certain that honoring God and each other’s purity are most important. Greg and I talked about implementing boundaries within the first few weeks of our courtship. Together we discussed the boundaries that we wanted to implement in our courtship and why we wanted to implement them. Here is the list of boundaries that Greg and I agreed upon, early on in our courtship. 1.      We would not kiss each other (lips, cheek, hand, anywhere) until our wedding day. 2.      We would not hold hands. 3.      We would not talk with each other until we had first spent...

( A Man's Perspective- Greg Hutchins)   A healthy courtship needs to be founded on a foundation of trust and purity, so taking care of “dirty laundry” is something that needs to take place early on. Your dirty laundry consists of all the things in your past relationships that may have hurt you or caused you to stumble in any way. Things like sexual partners, STD’s, and other relationships fall into this category. Basically, any “skeletons in the closet” need to be exposed. Other hindrances to intimacy and purity, like masturbation and pornography should also be discussed during this time. The purpose of taking care of dirty laundry is to clear the air, establish trust, and give you a clearer picture of the person you’re pursuing marriage with. As a guy, you want to know if the woman you’re courting has any sexual history and if she’s been scarred emotionally in any way. Knowing this not only allows you to know more about her as a woman, but also shows you how...