Skip to main content

Asia's Story

By
I was at a point in my life where my main focus was truly Jesus and my secondary focus was completing graduate school. I can honestly say that in 2012, I had tunnel vision when it came to guys. My eyes were so focused on Christ that I did not care whether a guy wanted to approach me or not and the funny thing is, they didn’t. It was like I had some kind of male repellant on or around me. When asked by my friends if I was dating anyone or looking, I would usually say, “Just Jesus. I am waiting on Him to bring the person He has for me into the picture.”

Greg and I were in the same college bible study and we went to the same church in Tallahassee, FL. The guys and girls from the college bible study would hang out from time to time, but Greg was not someone I hung around when we all got together. We were cordial with each other in bible study, at church and when we hung out.
Greg is very handsome and has always been handsome, but before we began our courtship, I was not so fond of some of his personality traits. In my opinion, a person’s personality can change the way they look and at the time, his personality made him less attractive to me.
On Wednesday, April 4, 2012, my life was surprisingly changed forever. I attended our college bible study and because our Pastor was under the weather, he asked Greg if he would lead the bible study that night. Greg lead a discussion on pride. As Greg was leading the discussion, I began to think to myself, “Wow, I am really proud that he is stepping up and leading/preaching. He is doing very well.” Out of nowhere this random thought popped into my mind and loudly said, “THAT’S YOUR HUSBAND!” I silently replied (in my mind), “No, it’s not!” and the thought stated, “YES, IT IS”, and I replied, “But, no it’s not” and the thought responded, “BUT, IT IS”, and I replied, “Uhhh, no it’s not” and the thought responded, “UHHHH, YES IT IS!” After hearing this, I was completely disturbed and soon after I left bible study early because it was hard for me to sit in front of Greg with this new revelation. After all, I had never looked at him in this light. I did not have any feelings for him and I did not construct second-person thoughts in my head. He was just a friend.
Needless to say, I was a wreck after hearing God speak to me in this way. What did this mean for my relationship with Jesus? I wanted no one to come in and take His place in my life and as observed in other individuals relationships, boyfriends can quickly become a form of idolatry. I did not want this. I just wanted Jesus. Not only did I think Greg would interfere with my relationship with Christ, I also did not think that he was right for me.
My Pastor encouraged the college students to create their individual silhouettes of the qualities they desired for the man or woman in Christ that God would bring them. He encouraged us to create a silhouette and to not compromise on our desires. I wrote my silhouette on the mirror in my bathroom. It consisted of my five desires in a boyfriend/husband.
#1 Radical for Christ (My boyfriend would have to be radical for Christ.)
#2 Love/ing Family (My boyfriend would have to love family and have a loving family; preferably happily married mother and father. I come from a broken family, so this was my desire. I love family.)
#3 Humorous (I love to laugh and have fun. I like silliness. I am sometimes referred to by my friends as a BIG kid. Hahaha.)
# 4 Tall (My boyfriend would have to be taller than me. I am 5’9’’ and I have dated shorter men. I had never been comfortable with it.)
#5 College educated (I desired a boyfriend who understood the rigor of obtaining a higher education and who displayed the determination and dedication necessary in college.)
As I drove home from bible study, I challenged God that Greg did not fit my silhouette. And He said (via a thought), “Go upstairs and look. He does fit it.” I was so nervous to go up and look. I didn’t want God to be right in this situation. I checked and Greg did fit my silhouette. Aghhhhh. I wrestled with what I had heard on the night of April 4, 2012. I wrestled for about 2 months before I gained God’s peace about it. I was fighting. I thought I knew better than God. Shame on me, right!?
Three months later, I received a text message from…. Greg. "What? I never text or call him. Why is he texting me?" I responded and he said that he would like to talk with me. I knew what this was, but I didn’t want it to be so. God would prove to be right! Well duh, He knows it ALL.
Greg and I talked the night of July 5, 2012, and he more or less asked me if I would be interested in courting with him. He and I had been friends, we had observed each others behavior for two years. We were able to make this next step, and I was confident that God would never fail after hearing Him telling me Greg was my husband and gaining peace about it.
My relationship with Greg has been amazing. He is my silhouette and I am excited about him becoming my husband. I must say, that we should always trust in what God has planned for us. We very often times think we know what is best for us, especially in the area of relationships, but God knows better. He knows how our stories began, how they will unfold, and how they will end. We must trust Him with a child-like faith. Greg shared this verse with me at the beginning of our courtship and I must say this verse defines what God did to my heart: Proverbs 21:1 “The king’s heart is a stream of water in the hand of the LORD; he turns it wherever he will.” God turned my heart from not considering Greg as a potential boyfriend. Thinking that God had it wrong, but He turned my heart and I absolutely love that the desires of my heart are the very desires of His heart.

Comments

  1. EmileeApril 11, 2014 at 12:36 AM

    I recently met your fiance, Greg, in a class, and we had a group project together. Somehow I ended up venting about how far I've come away from God in the last year of my life, and he told me about you and his relationship with you, and pointed me to this blog. All I want to say is thank you. So so so much. To both of you. Asia, I have never met you, but the sheer fact that you are a God-honouring woman who is making it in the world by honouring Christ but at the same time finding a man who is willing to do that with you is so moving and so empowering to me, someone who has lost their way and desires nothing more to get back on track with God. Tonight, I wrestled with myself, but made the decision driving home to drop what I've been doing and devote myself to God again. This was a hard decision because it required me telling my boyfriend that I want to step back from sexual relations and other activities I've been engaging in that do not help me glorify God. It was a long and hard argument, but in the end, the conclusion was that he is supporting me, and that he's going to let me help him become whole through Christ, too, just in baby steps. I can't thank the both of you enough and I can't thank God enough for putting Greg in my group to be His voice to me. I woke up from a long slumber today... I'm ready to make changes in my life, and I'm so grateful this blog is here to help me, and to either help improve the relationship I'm in or to help me decide that the relationship is not what God wants for me. Before I start rambling, I'm going to stop, and just say THANK YOU. Please keep doing what you're doing. I'm so in awe of you both and I'm so thankful you're doing God's work. Many blessings.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A HApril 12, 2014 at 11:36 AM

      Hi Emilee!!! I am so glad that God brought you and Greg together. What a wonderful thing God is doing in your life at this very moment. I am so thankful to Him that our blog has been able to assist you in your personal growth with God and within your relationship with your boyfriend! Continue to pursue God and to grow intimately with Jesus Christ. He will change you from the inside, out! Thank you for you beautiful comment.

      Delete
  2. UnknownJune 6, 2014 at 12:05 AM

    Thank you for sharing your story. Greg and I went to elementary school together and one day God led me to ask him about you all since I saw that you all had recently gotten engaged. You have encouraged me deeply because God spoke to me the same way but I had not encountered anyone else who had that same experience. I'm so happy that God showed His faithfulness through you all's relationship and I know that He will continue to bless your union as you all keep Him as the center.

    ReplyDelete
  3. SarahJune 19, 2014 at 10:18 PM

    this is awesome, great story...God is so good

    ReplyDelete
  4. DooneybAugust 13, 2014 at 1:00 AM

    The lord lead me right here to your story ! Thanks for posting this.

    ReplyDelete
  5. A HAugust 14, 2014 at 1:47 PM

    Kiana, Sarah, and Dooneyb. Thank you! I am so glad that you all were moved in some way by my story. I am very thankful to God for his provisions. Let me know if you have any questions or would like us to write about anything in particular. We are now married as of August 2, 2014!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Boundaries in a Courtship (A Woman's Perspective)

By
 In regards to a biblical courtship, this topic has to be one of my favorites. A courtship that is without boundaries is bound to lead to trouble in purity (hahaha… nice play on words right?… not trouble in paradise, but…Yea…okay). It is very important for both the man and the woman to discuss, agree, and intentionally implement boundaries to make certain that honoring God and each other’s purity are most important. Greg and I talked about implementing boundaries within the first few weeks of our courtship. Together we discussed the boundaries that we wanted to implement in our courtship and why we wanted to implement them. Here is the list of boundaries that Greg and I agreed upon, early on in our courtship. 1.      We would not kiss each other (lips, cheek, hand, anywhere) until our wedding day. 2.      We would not hold hands. 3.      We would not talk with each other until we had first spent...
3 comments
Read more

Boundaries in a Courtship (A Man's Perspective)

By
The area of boundaries is probably one of the most important topics a couple will face on their way to marriage. The way boundaries are approached, set, and handled is one of the primary factors in how successful the relationship will be in areas of purity (whether that be spiritual, emotional, or physical purity). If that be the case, how are we to think about boundaries and use them in a God-glorifying way? There are a few passages that have helped me think through this topic. First, let’s consider Ephesians 5:25-27. It says “ 25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. (ESV)” Here, there is a command, an example, and purpose, and an ultimate goal. The command is for husbands to love their...
3 comments
Read more

Affirmation and Acceptance (A Man's Perspective)

By
 Affirmation and acceptance are the doorway to freedom and security in a relationship. If they are lacking, trust will be shaky and communication will be full of tension and hesitation. But if affirmation and acceptance are present in a relationship, vulnerability becomes safer and embarrassment is no longer a hindrance to true self-expression. When I say “affirmation,” what I mean is affirming someone’s worth and value. You can do it through words or gestures. When Asia affirms me, she communicates that I am someone worthy of admiration and respect. When I affirm Asia, I communicate that she is a unique, invaluable treasure, a “rose among thorns,” as Solomon puts it (Song of Songs 2:2). Everyone wants to be cherished and respected. You can see it everywhere. Many athletes put in massive amounts of time in practice in order to be respected and valued as a competitor. Artists do the same. Often, a guy will sleep with loads of women in order to feel affirmed as a ma...
2 comments
Read more