A Christ-Centered Courtship

Temptation: Luring souls from delight in God since the fall of man . If sin wore a t-shirt, that’d be the slogan written on it. And it’s true. Ever since Satan tempted Eve, saying “Did God really say,” temptation has been plaguing the souls of man, hindering them from worshipping God in spirit and in truth. But what is temptation and how does it happen? What danger does it pose to my relationship? More importantly, how can/should we fight it? Simply put, temptation is an event where an individual is being enticed or persuaded to disobey God. For a more vivid description, consider James 1:14-15. “But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.” The word “lured” refers to being drawn away, like a fish whose attention has been captivated by a shrimp in the water, not realizing that the shrimp is bait on a hook! When we are tempted, our

As followers of Jesus Christ, we are called to be imitators of Him. The word Christian means “Christ-like”. Our Lord and Savior was a man of constant prayer. He would be found praying in the morning, afternoon, and night in accordance with the rest of Israel and according to the Temple service and saints of old. In addition to praying in the morning, afternoon, and night, Jesus would often escape into seclusion to spend time with His Father in prayer (Matthew 14:23, Matthew 26:36, Mark 1:35, Mark 6:46, Luke 6:12, Luke 9:18, Luke 9:28, Luke 11:1, Luke 22:39, Mark 9:29) (The Four Responsibilities of a Disciple- Darren N. Huckey). If Jesus was a man of prayer, how much more should we as followers of Him be wo/men of prayer? Prayer should not only be an important aspect of our daily Christian walks, but it should also be ever present in our courtship. One of the things I have enjoyed the most in my courtship with Greg is how eager he has always been to pray for us and for othe

Prayer is one of the greatest gifts God has given us in Christ. Through prayer we claim the promises of God given to us in His word for His glory. Prayer is also one of the primary means of communion with God. When we pray, we literally come before the throne of the Creator of the Universe in order to fellowship with and worship Him. We, sinful humans, made righteous through Christ, can come before the majestic God of the universe. That’s enough to make you shout (as my dad would say), but there’s more: He actually WANTS us to ask Him for things. He loves to and rejoices in giving good gifts to His children. Prayer is a beautiful thing. When you begin praying with someone, it’s like going on a journey with them. You pray, wait, and rejoice at the way God answers prayer. You get to see the different ways God acts on your behalf and you can look back at all the times He has answered. These are just a few moments in Asia and I's journey of praying together. I pray th

 Affirmation and acceptance are the doorway to freedom and security in a relationship. If they are lacking, trust will be shaky and communication will be full of tension and hesitation. But if affirmation and acceptance are present in a relationship, vulnerability becomes safer and embarrassment is no longer a hindrance to true self-expression. When I say “affirmation,” what I mean is affirming someone’s worth and value. You can do it through words or gestures. When Asia affirms me, she communicates that I am someone worthy of admiration and respect. When I affirm Asia, I communicate that she is a unique, invaluable treasure, a “rose among thorns,” as Solomon puts it (Song of Songs 2:2). Everyone wants to be cherished and respected. You can see it everywhere. Many athletes put in massive amounts of time in practice in order to be respected and valued as a competitor. Artists do the same. Often, a guy will sleep with loads of women in order to feel affirmed as a man; a

I was at a point in my life where my main focus was truly Jesus and my secondary focus was completing graduate school. I can honestly say that in 2012, I had tunnel vision when it came to guys. My eyes were so focused on Christ that I did not care whether a guy wanted to approach me or not and the funny thing is, they didn’t. It was like I had some kind of male repellant on or around me. When asked by my friends if I was dating anyone or looking, I would usually say, “Just Jesus. I am waiting on Him to bring the person He has for me into the picture.” Greg and I were in the same college bible study and we went to the same church in Tallahassee, FL. The guys and girls from the college bible study would hang out from time to time, but Greg was not someone I hung around when we all got together. We were cordial with each other in bible study, at church and when we hung out. Greg is very handsome and has always been handsome, but before we began our courtship, I wa

How I Became the Luckiest Man on Earth It was a cold winter night…Nah it wasn’t. It was actually a rather hot afternoon on July 5, 2012 when I asked Asia if we could begin pursuing a courtship relationship. How’d it happen? God humbled my heart and challenged my obedience. Pre-July 2012, Asia and I were not necessarily on the best of terms as far as friendship goes. Since I’ve known her, I’ve always had respect for her as a woman of God. I thought “Whoever pursues her is gonna have a real champ. He has to be the real deal because homegirl ain’t playin any games in this Christian walk.” However, she and I didn’t get along very well. I was a jerk, to put it mildly and plainly, and she obviously didn’t like that. Somehow, around April 2012, I heard from a friend that she thought I would be her husband in the future. I don’t know if I’ve ever been more opposed to anything in my life. I said “No. Heck no.” We just didn’t get along. I knew she was a woman of God and (spi

When I refer to doing bible studies together, I don’t strictly refer to guy and girl coming together to discuss exegetical matters (things like Greek/Hebrew language, syntax, and other, headier issues) and things like that. I simply mean coming together for the purpose of discussing the truth of God’s Word and how that truth applies to your lives. Studying and discussing the Bible together as a couple is a vital part of a strong, Christ-centered relationship. The presence or absence of such discussion and study is (in my opinion) a clear indicator of how serious a guy and girl are about growing in the knowledge of God together. In my experience, the lack of intentional, focused Bible study has made it easier for me to lose perspective on what really matters. It can lead to the two being focused on simply pleasing and serving each other as the primary goal, and not doing those things to glorify God. That’s what happened to me. Being a busy guy in a long distance relatio

Spending time with God is the single best investment we can make in our lives. As we grow to know God, we are able to grow to know ourselves; the person whom He has created us to become. Reading the Bible is how we get to know who God is. His character, how He views us, His Son Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit, and how God uses the most unsuspected men and women to do great things in His name. Reading, studying, and meditating on God’s Word on a consistent basis allows us to know Him intimately and not just on a superficial level. In your courtship, it is most important that Christ is in the CENTER of it ALL. All of your plans should be made with Christ in mind and through prayer to obtain the direction you will need from God. Remember that courtship is designed to lead to MARRIAGE, so use your courtship wisely and as preparation for your lifetime commitment to your fiance or preance (rhymes with fiance- because you both are pre-engagement :-). In my relationship with