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Bible Studies (A Man's Perspective)

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When I refer to doing bible studies together, I don’t strictly refer to guy and girl coming together to discuss exegetical matters (things like Greek/Hebrew language, syntax, and other, headier issues) and things like that. I simply mean coming together for the purpose of discussing the truth of God’s Word and how that truth applies to your lives.
Studying and discussing the Bible together as a couple is a vital part of a strong, Christ-centered relationship. The presence or absence of such discussion and study is (in my opinion) a clear indicator of how serious a guy and girl are about growing in the knowledge of God together. In my experience, the lack of intentional, focused Bible study has made it easier for me to lose perspective on what really matters. It can lead to the two being focused on simply pleasing and serving each other as the primary goal, and not doing those things to glorify God. That’s what happened to me. Being a busy guy in a long distance relationship, there was a time when my main concern was simply making sure I spent enough time talking with Asia and spending time with her; making sure I showered her with the attention and affection that she needed. That became my focus. I was not concerned about our growing in the knowledge of God as a couple. I completely lost sight of it. God eventually showed me grace and opened my eyes to see where I was falling short and I did my best to lead Asia as we studied through books of the bible together.
Here are just a few things I’ve learned since we’ve started (directed at guys):
1.       Reject Passivity and Accept Responsibility.
Guys, we must realize that as leaders, we are the ones who are to initiate these conversations. Just as Jesus washed His bride in the water of the Word, we must do the same. We have to accept our shortcomings in this area, knowing that only Jesus is the perfect spiritual leader, but we must also realize that He is redeeming us and empowering us through His Spirit and Word with the ability to lead our brides spiritually. So accept the call to lead. In doing this, we must reject the passivity that so easily hinders us. Be proactive. Look at different bible studies online; ask her what books of the bible she is interested in. Be the one driving this and setting it up. If you know she’s busy or may not remember, set a time in advance and remind her every couple of days. Do what you must to make sure that you both are growing in the knowledge of God. 

 2.       Be intentional. I cannot stress this enough since this was what I had the hardest time with. Intentionality flows from rejecting passivity (see number 1), so one will never be present without the other. When I say “be intentional,” what I mean is this: Don’t act like this Bible study will take place all on its own. When it comes to your personal time with God, going to the gym, or hanging out with friends, it doesn’t just happen. You schedule a time and a place; you plan the event and make sure it happens. The same rules apply here. Secure a time and plan for your bible study together. Also, find out how you’re going to go about preparing for it. Are you going to listen to sermons about the passage to supplement your reading? Will you read commentaries? What about cross references? Answering these sorts of questions will make the process more efficient for both of you.
3.       Believe the Gospel. I also hinted at this in #1. Realize that you won’t be the perfect leader. You won’t always be prepared. You may be unclear about certain passages. You may forget about doing the study altogether. There may even be times when you don’t feel like studying the Bible. You’re going to drop the ball. She will too. It’s because both of you are sinners in need of the grace found in Jesus. God won’t be upset with you when you mess up. He’ll love you, delight in you, and sing over you just as much as when you do what you should. So, don’t beat yourself up. Don’t expect perfection out of yourself; it won’t happen. Instead, strive to lead with humility, repentance, and consistency, resting in the grace of Jesus.
As Asia and I have studied God’s truth together, I have truly come to love and admire the woman of God that Asia is. Being able to hear and read her thoughts about the grand truths of God in Scripture has been enlightening and humbling. Asia and I have also come to know more about each other as we have seen ourselves in light of God’s truth, enabling me to pray for her and serve her more effectively. I pray you, too, would enjoy the blessings God has for your relationship as you grow in the knowledge of Him.

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